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"I couldn't help but think about his past relationships and how I measured up," she says, and she's not alone.But it's perfectly okay to be open about these emotions with your SO.Don't make it a game of who's done what with who, and never feel a need to dish out your number unless you’re comfortable—you do you, girl. You can give up the sexual reigns until you feel confident enough to take charge."When I got involved with my first college hookup, I immediately knew that he had more experience," says Ana*, a junior at Vassar College.Unless an unequal power dynamic is what you've consented to, a dominating partner personality could be a warning sign of disrespect.Feeling awkward at the start of a new relationship is completely normal, no matter the circumstances.Conversely, if he was turned on by my being a virgin, I thought that would be a red flag for me because of my awareness of the misogynistic concept of 'deflowering' women." But lo and behold, "what really happened was neither of those things," she says."The truth is, if your SO isn't willing to handle your sexual inexperience delicately and respectfully, they are probably not the right SO for you." Why keep score if there's no competition?When it comes to a mismatch in experience, comparing stats may do more harm than good.


A new partner can't reverse the relationship decisions they made in the past, and honestly, they shouldn't feel the need to.

If it is, comfort them by letting them know that your standards don't mean you're constantly waiting for them to mess up!


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